The blog to read if you feel like a Bride-to-be on a horse-drawn carriage to hell! Riding a wedding tsunami across the decimated breadth of Asia! Falling into a volcano of nuptial doom! Being dipped in white wine sauce and thrown, by your loved ones, to the extended family (and everyone they’ve ever met) for the wedding list slaughter!
What is the opposite of Bridezilla? Boredzilla?
What the hell is a bon bonierrie? And how do you spell it?
Cake bags? Why would we need cake bags? And why did i just spend seventy pounds on them?
Why can’t i just have a registry office wedding and a drink down the pub after, like Nana and Grampa did in 1940?
Why does the bridal industry make it so damn indefinably, inexplicably difficult for fat chicks? And skinny chicks, for that matter?
Why is “rustic” so freakin’ expensive?
How the holy hell did twenty guests turn into a hundred and twenty?
Who is Pat? Why is she on the list? Is she a he?
Why won’t my wedding venue return my calls?
I’ll answer all these questions and more over the next twelve weeks. Until then… THIS IS Brıdäl Tap.
And it won’t hurt a bit. (Ch’yeah right!)